The Cartoon Amazing Race
by aceman88
Summary: Eleven teams of cartoon characters compete in a race around the real world in order to win 1,000,000. Who will win? Who will be eliminated? and will anyone review?
1. Chapter 1

**THE CARTOON AMAZING RACE**

**Author's Note: **This is my first attempt at doing a reality show based story, hope you all like it.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own **any** character who will appear in this story, and I also do not own 'The Amazing Race'.

**LET'S MEET THE TEAMS**

We find ourselves at The Empire State Building in New York City, on top was a man with red hair & mustache and a large nose.

"Greetings, all you at home, I'm Nigel Thornberry." he said in a thick British accent, "Welcome to a very special edition of the Emmy Award winning reality TV show: THE AMAZING RACE! Now, what makes this so special you may ask? Well, the producers decided to pick cartoon characters out of their animated worlds and brought them here in the real world."

"I was chosen to be the host of this installment because of my work at world travel, but I did hear that Yogi Bear fellow was a close second. Right now our teams are heading to the place where the first season of 'The Amazing Race' began: Central Park. Let's meet them, shall we?"

2 buses containing the teams drove into Central Park, stopping at a bus drop off zone. The teams get out one pair at a time as they walk to the starting line. The first team consisted of a white dog walking on his hind legs and a baby with a football shaped head.

"Team 1 is Brian & Stewie Griffin, Friends/Rivals from 'Family Guy'." said Nigel

_Interview before the race-_

"Getting right to the point, the only reason I'm here is I want the money," said Brian, "No getting to know my partner, not wanting for a great experience, just the money."

"Yeah so you can get more booze," said Stewie, "I'm just here cause I don't want to be with Lois and the fat-man as much as I need to, I swear I think Peter's stupidity is rubbing off on me."

"The reason Stewie's with me is because all my other friends are big dumb-asses," said Brian, "I would've liked Lois to come, but I might do something I might regret later back home, and I didn't bring a girlfriend cause the one's I always seem to get have the intelligence of a wet sponge. At least with Stewie we have some travel experience together."

"Can we sleep in the same bed?" asks Stewie,

"What?"

"Nothing" Stewie said quickly.

Another team follows them, they're both beavers, one has blond fur and the other has brown.

"Team 2 is Norbert & Daggett Beaver, Brothers from "Angry Beavers'."

_Interview before the race-_

"Me and my bro-oh-ther are gonna kick the patoot of our spoot-headed competition and win the mi-hill-lion dollars." said Norb

"And to make sure we win, I've brought my good luck thingies," said Dag as he pulled some stuff out of a travel bag, "I've got my lucky undies, my El Grapadura hat with the string that puts his legs together and some old cheese we bought a year ago but never eaten that I found behind the fridge last week."

"Eww, how is that lucky?" asks Norb,

"I don't know, but it was really stinking up the place." said Dag.

Coming out of the bus now were a square yellow sponge and a pink starfish...and they are now going in the wrong direction, "HEY DUMB-ASSES! THE STARTING LINE'S THIS WAY!!!" shouts Stewie.

"Team 3 is Spongebob Sqaurepants & Patrick Star, Best Friends from 'Spongebob Sqaurepants'."

_Interview before the race-_

"OH YEAH!, WE'RE READY! WE'RE READY! WE'RE READY! WE'RE READY!" Spongebob shouts while Patrick had fallen asleep and was drooling all over the place. Fifthteen minutes later, this was still going on and the crew decided to leave.

The fourth team was this time a man and a woman, the man was bald and overweight with an unshaven face and the woman was skinny and had large blue hair sticking straight up.

"Team 4 is Homer & Marge Simpson, Married Couple from 'The Simpsons'."

_Interview before the race-_

"Me and my Homie are just perfect for this show," said Marge, "we've been together for years and been through many arguments, but we've always make up in the end."

"And I can't wait to drink foreign beer! WOO-HOO!!!" excitedly says Homer, "And we don't have to worry about the kids ruining it for us."

"Oh Homer, that's an awful thing to say. Sure they're a handful, but they're not as bad the kids on 'Nanny 911'." said Marge

"Alright, and I take pride in the fact that we're not that bad as parents than the Griffins, IN YOUR FACE GRIFFINS!!!" Homer shouts in the camera.

The fifth team were two rabbits, one blue and the other pink...if you think this is Yin & Yang, you are so wrong.

"Team 5 is Buster & Babs Bunny-"

"No relation." said the pair as they briefly stopped.

"Yeah, Best Friends from 'Tiny Toon Adventures'."

_Interview before the race-_

"Me and Babsy are here because we basically have nothing else to do," said Buster, "Since our show ended, we've been sitting on our butts watching TV and doing live performances, got a little boring after awhile."

"I for one miss the good old days where all you need people to laugh at is comedic timing and a good sense of humor," said Babs, "Not doing something completely stupid that's for a cheap laugh, like those (insert movie genre here) movies."

"Or anything Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, or Disney have on nowadays." said Buster

The sixth and final team out of the first bus were two mice, the male was huge with a plump belly and a mustache, and the other was a small female mouse with a slim frame and long blonde hair.

"Team 6 is Monteray Jack & Gadget Hackwrench, friends and rescue rangers from 'Chip n' Dale's Rescue Rangers'."

_Interview before the race-_

"I've had much experience at traveling around the world," said Monteray in an Australian accent, "and in our job as Rescue Rangers, we sometimes have to go from one end of the world to the next."

"I really wanted to participate in this competition," said Gadget, "However, this caused Chip & Dale to start another argument about who was going to be my partner. To settle it, I chose Montey due to his experience in traveling."

"Too right, you should've seen the boys after that, about as depressed as a kangaroo without a pouch."

"And besides, I already think of Montey as a father."

"Gee, thanks gadget-luv."

The teams on the second bus started piling out, the first team was a gray-fured rabbit and a black-feathered duck.

"Team 7 is Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck, rivals from 'Looney Tunes'."

_Interview before the race-_

"Ehh, what's up docs?" Bugs said his famous catchphrase, "You folks are probably wondering why me and Daffy are teaming together? Well, it's mainly because the duck didn't have a choice."

"Shut your buck-tooth mouth!" yelled Daffy, "All right, it's true. I wanted to sign up and win that million dollars, but everyone I knew said they had other things to do, even Porky! And he's usually my sidekick for these schemes."

"And I was his last resort," Bugs chuckled, "You should've seen him begging."

"That's it, interview over!"

The next team was a small green alien and a small robot.

"Team 8 is Zim & Gir, master & servant from 'Invader Zim'."

_Interview before the race-_

"People of earth!" yelled Zim, "I, the mighty Zim, am now your ruler. I shall begin my world tour of you bowing before me-"

"Uh, sir," said the interviewer, "This is an interview for the 'Cartoon Amazing Race', when we said 'the world is yours', we didn't actually mean it's really yours."

"Oh, then I guess I want the monies."

"Yeah sure, wait, where's that robot of yours?"

A man then comes running into the interview room with Gir on his head.

"RIDE 'EM PIGGY! WWWWEEEEEEEE!!!" Gir yells, running the man into the camera equipment

Behind them were two young dog or monkey like creatures.

"Team 9 is Yakko & Wakko Warner, brothers from 'Animainiacs'."

_Interview before the race-_

"What's that camera for?" asked Yakko

"You have to say why you and your brother joined the 'Cartoon Amazing Race'." answered the interviewer

"Well why didn't you say so?" said Wakko, "We've joined for only one reason: Boredom."

"Yeah, things just have not been the same since 'Animainiacs' ended." said Yakko, "So, me and my younger siblings decided to join the race, but unfortunately we didn't realise only two people can be on a team before we signed up. Only mine and Wakko's name fit on the application form, we just sent it in without telling Dot."

"I hope she's not too mad at us." said Wakko.

Little do they know, back at the water tower in Warner Brothers Studios, Dot was livid, tearing things apart, screaming, yelling, and saying things I really don't want to repeat

The next were two normal looking girls, one's a red head and the other had brown hair and glasses.

"Team 10 is Daphne Blake & Velma Dinkley, friends and crime solvers from 'Scooby-Doo'."

_Interview before the race-_

"From the looks of things, we're the only all female team here." said Daphne, "Fine with me, that'll make people underestimate us, and gives us a chance to see the look on their faces when we beat them."

"Being mystery solvers is our profession." said Velma, "We've been around the world and then some, so we have a big advantage over all the other teams."

"We're friendly, smart, and great to look at, those other teams are going down." proclaimed Daphne

The final team off the bus and in the race were two white ducks, one looked old and the other was wearing a superhero costume.

"The 11th and final team is Scrooge McDuck & Darkwing Duck...well I don't even know what their relationship is, so let's let them tell us.'

_Interview before the race-_

"I know what you're going to say, 'Why is Scrooge McDuck, the world's richest duck, doing in a race for a measly $1,000,000?'." said Scrooge in his Scottish accent, "While I do have many millions of dollars, I just like a really good adventure. I was planning to race with me pilot, Lauchpad McQuack, but he got into one of his crashes and broke his leg, and since a broken leg isn't good for a race, he gave me a recommendation for a replacement partner." he looks over to the costumed duck sitting next to him.

"Hey, I'm not as happy about this partnership as you are." said Darkwing Duck, "I was doing just fine fighting crime in St. Canard, when Launchpad calls me, saying he broke his leg and asked me for a favor."

"I should've had my butlet do this with me." complained Scrooge

"Shut up."

The teams are now walking in line to the starting point, some with a look of confidence, some with smiles on their faces, and some who look to not have a clue about what's going on (i.e. Spongebob & Patrick).

"Can these teams stand the stress of traveling together?" said Nigel, "Will they be able to work well in the real world? Who will muster the right combination of brains, brawn, teamwork & determination to win **'The Cartoon Amazing Race'**?"

We're now in central park where the 11 teams are standing in front of the Christopher Columbus statue.

"Welcome everyone, " Nigel greets the racers, "What you're in front of is a statue honoring Christopher Columbus, a Spanish explorer who people say not only discovered America, but also proved that the earth is round. It just seems fitting to start a race around the world right here."

"Now, in just a few minutes, you'll begin a race around the world. There will be 13 legs in this race, your main objective being to find these," Nigel holds up a yellow sealed envelope with the show's logo on it, "Sealed envelops which contain clues to your next task, destination and instructions. At the end of each leg is a Pit Stop, where you'll rest for a period of 12 hours before starting on the next leg of the race. Some of these Pit Stops are elimination points, meaning if you check in last, you'll be out of the race. So your goals for this race are to find all clues, complete all tasks as fast as you can, and get to the Pit Stop as quickly as possible, because here on the race, it's not all about coming in first, it's about not coming in last."

"The eliminations continue until we're down to only 3 teams, where the first to reach the finish line, will win $1,000,000!" The teams all cheer for the most part. "Your first clue of the leg is located on the luggage you brought with you on the Bethesda Terrace, it will tell you your first destination and flights, but what you do after that, is completely up to you."

The racers prepare to run, "Good luck to everyone, I'll see you at the end of the leg. The world is waiting for you..." Nigel lifts his arm up, "Travel safe...GO!!!"

With that signal, all hell breaks loose and all the racers make a mad dash for Bethesda Terrace, nearly running over Nigel in the process. It was when everyone was out of sight that Nigel noticed that Spongebob & Patrick haven't started yet.

"Um, excuse me chaps, but I've already started the race,"

"Oh! come on, Patrick, we've got a race to win!" Spongebob yells as he and Patrick start running

"Um, excuse me..." said Nigel

"Yes, Mr. Nigel?" Spongebob said while running.

"The Terrace is this way!" Nigel points in the right direction.

"Oh, A-bow face, Patrick!" The aquatic pair turn around and head for the Terrace, no doubt already in last place.

"No doubt, those boys are in big trouble." sighed Nigel

**This ends the team introduction, will Spongebob & Patrick ever go in the right direction? Will Scrooge & Darkwing Duck be able to work together? Where will they go and who will be eliminated? Just wait and see next time on 'THE CARTOON AMAZING RACE'.**


	2. LEG 1: The Comrades Chill in Russia, P1

**Author's Note:** It looks as though I have to put these in parts, enjoy this chapter and yes, this will be more of a comedy.

**Disclaimor: **I do not own any of the characters appearing in this fic, nor do I own Russia or any of it's landmarks.

**LEG 1: The Comrades Chill in Russia, Part 1**

The 11 teams of cartoon characters ran across Central Park in New York City, getting from the starting line at the Christopher Columbus Statue to their bags and first clue at the Bethesda Terrace.

"Move it, dog! The duck and rabbit are catching up!" Stewie shouted to Brian

"Well it's sort of hard to run when you have short legs!" Brian shouted just as Bugs & Daffy run past him

"Eh, maybe a little less alcohol and a little more exorcise would do better for you, doc." Bugs said to Brian

"Less lip, rabbit, and more running!" said Daffy

"Move your legs, you old goose." Darkwing Duck said to Scrooge

"I like to see you run at my age in this cold weather!" Scrooge retorted

"Daphne, I told you wearing your good heels might look good on television, but not in a race." Velma said to Daphne, who's feet were hurting from running in high heels

"I know, I just hope I remembered to pack my regular shoes." said Daphne.

Soon, all the teams managed to get to Bethesda Terrace and to their bags under the bridge. Simultaneously getting their clue envelopes and ripping them open.

"Route Info: Make your way to the airport..." read Brian

"And book a flight to your first destination:..." read Marge

"Moscow, Russia!" read Velma, excited about the first country

"Mass-cow, Rushha?" read Spongebob, mispronouncing the name

"Once there, make your way.." read Darkwing Duck

"To what is known as..." read Bugs

"The world's third tallest building." read Gadget

"You can only travel on the following two flights:.." read Zim

"JFK, flight 276." read Norb

"Newark, flight 879." read Buster

"You have $180 for this leg of the race." Yakko finishes reading the clue.

_"Teams must now make their way to Moscow, Russia." said Nigel, "When they arrive, they have to figure out that they need to head to the Ostankino Tower, a free-standing television and radio tower that is dubbed the world's third tallest building at 1,772 feet."_

The teams pick up their bags, run up the steps and make their way to the front of the park, where a bunch of cars were parked for the teams to use. The one's with the smallest bags: Brian & Stewie, Bugs & Daffy and Scrooge & Darkwing Duck, made it to their cars first and drove off, but the rest of the teams aren't far behind.

(Bugs & Daffy, Currently in 1st Place)

"It's a good thing we don't wear clothes that much, it makes things easier to run with." said Bugs, who was driving for his team.

"Yeah, the only bags we got are school backpacks." said Daffy, "Do you know where the airport is?"

"Of course, Daf. New York is like a second home to me."

(Brian & Stewie, Currently in 2nd Place)

"I hope you don't poop all that much, that bag of diapers weighs a ton." said Brian, driving for his team.

"Just be glad that's the only major luggage we have, we would be dead last with your speed." said Stewie

"Shut up."

(Scrooge & Darkwing Duck, Currently in 3rd Place)

"Hurry, beat out this traffic, we're gonna miss our flight if you don't drive better!" Scrooge said grumpily

"Hey, I'm doing the best I can here! How about some encouragement here?" said Darkwing Duck

"How's this for encouragement: If you don't get there faster and beat all the other teams, I'll beat your brains in with me cane!"

(Homer & Marge, Currently in 4th Place)

The Simpsons couple were able to drive out before the other teams and are now on the tails of the two ducks.

"WOO HOO! We are in fourth! We're kicking butt!" Homer said excitedly in the driver's seat

"Calm down, Homie, we want to make it to the airport in one piece." chuckled Marge

(Daphne & Velma, Currently in 5th Place)

"We were lucky to beat some of the other teams with the bags you brought." said Velma in the driver's seat

"I know, I should've brought less." said Daphne, switching to her regular shoes.

(Everyone else, Currently tied for last place)

The other six teams were still in Central Park. What error did they make that the others didn't?: None of them knew how to drive a car.

(Monteray Jack & Gadget)

"Now, Gadget-luv, you sure you know how to work this?" asked Monteray in the back seat

"Of course, Monty," replied Gadget, "It's just like any other vehicle I've driven...except I made those from junk and this was made in a factory, but I'm sure it's still the same." Gadget starts pressing random buttons, which causes the windshield wipers to go crazy, the radio to go up full blast, the car alarm to go off and the headlights to blink on and off.

"Uh, Gadget-luv, maybe you should start by turning the ignition key?"

"Oh yeah, that's right." Gadget blushes in embarrassment

(Zim & Gir)

Both alien and robot were just sitting in the car, not moving a muscle (or in Gir's case, circuits).

"Now listen to me, you pathetic piece of earth technology!" shouted Zim, "I am your new lord and master now, so I command you to take me to the human hover machines!" nothing happens, "I said take me to the hover machines, now!" still nothing, "Move now!" same thing, "Please?"

(Spongebob & Patrick)

"Wow, so this is a land version of a boat." Spongebob said in amazement

"How do you think it works?" asks Patrick

"Oh, I'm sure it works just the same as a boat, it'll be easy." Spongebob gets into the driver's seat while Patrick gets into the back

"But, Spongebob, you don't even have a boating license."

"Oh yeah, well no matter, this is probably more easy." Spongebob then goes over his boat driving set up, "Ignition on! Looking both ways! and floor it!" The car speeds off...backwards,,,and into a tree, "Oh, silly me, I forgot to set the stick into forward."

(Yakko & Wakko)

"If there's one negative thing about being drawn and staying as a kid, it's never learning to drive." said Yakko

"Maybe if we do some rewiring and modifications, we can make it work." suggested Wakko

"Nice idea, my younger sibling, now open up and let's see what you got." Yakko slips his hand into Wakko's mouth and rummages around. "Old baseball cards, tennis rackets, E.T. video game cartridges, ah! here we go," Yakko pulls a gray box out, "Our old Nintendo System!"

(Buster & Babs)

"Alright, Babsy," said Buster in the back seat, trying to help Babs get to driving, "I've seen this done plenty of times by my dad, it's easy."

"Then why aren't you driving?" asked Babs

"Because I'm not stupid. Now, turn the key, set the car to drive, and lightly press the gas with your foot."

Babs did as she was instructed, but pressed the gas a little too much and they shot off like a bullet, nearly hitting everything in sight

"TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH!!!"

(Norbert & Daggett)

The beavers carried a stump and some tree trunks they made out of nearby trees, it seems their main problem with their car was they were too short to either see above the dashboard or reach the peddles.

"Alright, Daggie," said Norb, "Try to keep your eyes on the road, listen to my navigation, stay focus and we won't get killed before we reach the airport."

"What? Why do I have to drive?" asked Dag

"Because I don't trust you with a map."

(Brian & Stewie)

The dog and baby decided to stop at a payphone to call the airport for some information.

"Hello, I would like to know which flight leaves earlier," asked Brian, "JFK flight 276 or Newark flight 879?" he waits while the ticket agent finds out and receives an answer, "JFK leaves at 2:20 and Newark leaves at 3:25, alright thanks." he hangs up

"Woah, wait a minute Brian, have you forgotten something?" asks Stewie

"What? we got the departure times, all we gotta do is make it on JFK."

"No, you idiot! I meant when do they arrive?"

"What difference does it make?"

"That's the kind of mistake that racers make, all they care about is leaving early but not when they'll get there."

"What? Isn't it obvious the earliest ones arrive first?"

"No, sometimes it's the other way around, and besides, what if the place we're going to is closed by the time we get there . Ever thought of that, Goober?!"

Brian stares at Stewie, "Wow, you really are obsessed with this stuff."

Meanwhile, another team has already made it to the airport...through a rabbit hole

(Bugs & Daffy)

"Wow, I didn't think that was even possible," said an amazed Daffy, "I still don't know how we did it."

"Yeah, it helps being an expert at this sort of thing." said Bugs, "Come on, let's do a little bit of research for that world's third tallest building."

The two Looney Tunes go into the book store that's in the airport, and look for anything about Moscow, Russia

"Hey, duck!" said Bugs, having found something in a travel guide, "Check it out, I think I've found something."

The travel guide read:

_When visiting Moscow, Russia, be sure to not only visit it's ancestral and historic structures, but also the modern buildings that revolutionize the world, like the Ostankino Tower, which stands at an amazing 1,772 feet, making it the third tallest free-standing building in the world!_

"Wow, what luck." said Daffy, "Do you think it's really the place we need to go?"

"Wouldn't hurt to look, bill boy. Come on, let's find a good flight."

On their way to a ticket counter, the two 'tunes' notice Buster & Babs entering the lobby.

"Wait a minute, weren't they with the last place teams?" asked Daffy

"Yeah, they must've took a shortcut like us." said Bugs, "Say, how about we tell them what we found?"

"What!? They're the competition! Why should we help them?"

"Well, they were my favorite students back at ACME LOO, and I think we can trust them out of all the other teams."

"Fine, but this is the only time we help another team." Daffy said with a stern look.

"Alright, hey kids! over here!" Bugs calls the two teenage rabbits over

"Hiya, Bugs," greets Buster, "Looks like we're the first ones here."

"Yeah, about that, how the heck did you pass all the other teams?" asked Daffy

"What can I say?"said Babs, "I'm the Penelope Pitstop of this age."

"Not to mention she drove on every place but the road," said Buster, "I've never seen a cop too scared to chase a speeder in my life."

"Great luck," said Bugs, "But anyway, me and Daffy found out something about that third tallest building clue that we're willing to tell you two."

"Really? What's the catch?" asked Buster

"No catch, just don't tell anyone else, we want to make sure none of us are the first eliminated." answered Bugs

"Let's go for it, Buster," said Babs, "This could really give us a big lead over the others."

"Alright, what is it?" asked Buster

"The Ostankino Tower, that's our best bet." said Bugs

"Remember, no telling anyone else," said Daffy, "Hopefully everyone else will start looking up for it when we get to Moscow, which gives us a big lead since we already know it."

They all walked to the JFK counter and noticed Brian & Stewie were already there talking to the ticket agent.

"So the JFK flight leaves at 2:20 PM and arrives at 6:00 PM while Newark leaves at 3:25 PM and arrives at 7:15 PM." said Brian

"That's correct, sir." said the agent

"See, there's was nothing to worry about." Brian told Stewie

"We'll see about that later in the race, just book the damn tickets!" said Stewie

"Hey look, it's Charlie Brown & Snoopy!" said Buster

"Oh great, it's the golden oldies and their spawns," said Stewie, "I suppose there has to be some competition for us in this race."

"Gee, you seem confident," said Bugs, "ain't it too early to think about winning the whole thing?"

"It helps us get through the race." said Brian

"I would be more focused on getting through the leg before I start thinking about winning." said Babs

"Yeah sure, say that when your staring at my ass everywhere we go." said Stewie

**"To me, unless you don't have the right mind-frame you can't win," said Stewie in an after-leg interview, "and if you get on the race but think you're weren't really going to win, than you shouldn't be in it at all!"**

"Huh, we haven't even left the country and the competition is already getting dirty." said Bugs

"Speaking of competition," said Daffy, "Where the heck is everyone else?"

Meanwhile, the streets of New York were filled with traffic as some of the teams are stuck...

"WHAT'S THE HOLD UP?!!! MOVE IT!!!" Homer shouts from the window of his car

"What is wrong with these humans?" said Zim (the camera guy got tired of Zim trying to command the car to move, so he quickly thought him how to drive.) "Don't they know they are blocking the Almighty Zim of his hover machines?"

"Norb, I think these things are giving me splinters." said Dag, he was sitting on the stump to look over the dashboard and had the trunks tied to his feet so he can reach the peddles, and they weren't very comfortable.

"Quit whining, I'm trying to find the airport." said Norb with his face in a map,

"Let me through!" shouted Scrooge, "Don't you know who I am?!"

"Right now I wish I didn't." said Darkwing Duck, "What is the hold up?"

We now see the cause of the traffic jam...Gadget had somehow parked sideways on both lanes and was moving the car back and forth trying to get it in a good position to turn.

"Golly, maybe that u-turn wasn't such a good idea." pondered Gadget, "You know, I never realized a vehicle this big would be that hard to maneuver."

"What did you expect, luv." said Monteray, "We're usually small, but here we're the size of a human."

Suddenly, a car rushes through the traffic, not caring about not hitting the other cars, it rams into the rescue rangers' vehicle and dislodges it. The drivers just happen to be the Warner Brothers (without the Warner Sister), they somehow modified the car with the Nintendo system and were controlling it like a video game

"5,000 points! Our highest score yet!" said Yakko with controller in hand, "I knew this would be easier than just learning to drive the dang thing."

"Looks like someone's chasing us." said Wakko, noticing a cop car speeding up to them.

"Well then, looks like it's time for the Bonus Round! Activate jets!"

"Jets?" whispered their confused and almost frightened cameraman

Suddenly, a huge flame comes bursting out of the exhaust pipe and they speed off, leaving the cops in their dust.

"First the crazy rabbit girl, now this," said the cop, "if this keeps up, I'm going for early retirement." Just then, two vehicles driven by a grumpy bald guy and a small crazy alien wiz past him, causing him to spin around very fast. "That's it, I quit!"

Back at the airport, Daphne & Velma, who were able to drive ahead of the traffic jam, had arrived at the airport and were talking with the ticket person.

"Oh please, sir, we really need to get on the JFK." pleaded Velma

"I'm sorry, miss, but the flight's practically fully booked." said the agent

"Oh, now I'm sure there's some seats left," said Daphne in a strangely seductive manner, "Maybe you can take off a couple of people who don't really need it?" Daphne winks at him

"Well, um, maybe I can give some people a spot on another flight." said the nervous ticket agent.

"Thank you." Daphne blows him a kiss

"Since when do you use the seductress act?" asked a shocked Velma

"Hey, sometimes you do what you gotta do." replied Daphne

The airport doors burst open as the Simpsons and Zim & Gir come running in, dashing for the ticket line, knocking a few people over on the way (except Marge, who quickly apologises to them). Homer slides into the counter, accidentally knocking down Daphne & Velma just as the ticket agent was gonna give them their boarding passes.

"Here you go, miss, now how about a ki-" the ticket agent suddenly notices Homer is in front of him

"Gee, thanks." said Homer, "Hey Marge! The guy gave me tickets to the JFK flight and I didn't even have to do anything."

"Move it, fat human!" said Zim, "Now you, human who gives the papers to allow passage, give me two for this Moscow place!"

"I hope there's many cows in Moscow!" said Gir, "I like cows, but not as much as I love piggies!!!"

"Gir! Stop it with the obsession with the human pork." Zim turns his attention back to the agent, "As I was saying, gimme!"

"I'm sorry, whatever you are, but I'm afraid there's no more-" a laser pops out of Zim's pack and is pointed at the agent's head. "As I was saying, I can knock some people off the flight so you can get on."

"Thank you!"

Daphne and Velma got up from the floor, a bit dazed, to notice Zim & Gir getting the tickets.

"Hey! What about us!?" said Daphne

"I'm sorry, miss, you're very hot and very pretty, but a laser pointing at my head will make me do just about anything more than looks."

"That's not fair! The bald guy stole our tickets and you let an alien and his robot on the flight, not cool!" Daphne felt like ripping her hair out

"Calm down, Daphne," said Velma, putting her hand on her friend's shoulder, "There's nothing we can do here. Let's just go to the Newark flight."

**"I just can't believe what happened," said Daphne in an after-leg interview, "I mean we were at the counter before they were, yet they got on the flight."**

**"I still can't believe you tried to seduce the ticket agent," said Velma, "I wonder how Fred's gonna feel after seeing this."**

**"Quiet, Velma." Daphne blushes in embarrassment**

The two mystery solvers headed down to the Newark airline, but to their dismay, all the other teams were already there

"I should've drove," said Scrooge, "I maybe old, but I could've drove faster than you, Dark Duck!"

"That's DarkWING Duck, and shut up." replied D.W.

"How long do you think til the cops are sent after us?" Wakko asked his older sibling

"I don't know, but hopefully they don't have a jurisdiction in Russia." replied Yakko

"Golly, that was embarrassing of me," said Gadget, "I'm usually a pretty good driver."

"Don't threat, Gadget-luv," reassured Monteray, "I'm sure you'll get the hang of it soon enough," then he says under his breath, "But hopefully we can get our own driver."

"Hold still, splinter-butt!" said Norb, picking splinters out of Dagget's behind.

"OW! SPOOT!" Dag screams in pain, "I never want to drive again!

"Well, it looks like we're all tied for last place." said Velma, but her partner notices something is off

"Hey, where are those aquatic guys?" Daphne asked.

(Spongebob & Patrick, Currently in Last Place... and in the Hudson)

Yes, for some reason the two still haven't gotten it through their heads that this does not take place in the sea.

"I've never been here before," said Spongebob, "The map says the airport should be nearby, but I don't see any buildings."

"Maybe we're going the wrong way." said Patrick, in a very rare moment of clarity

"Of course not, Patrick, this map's just printed wrong." assured Spongebob

"No, you are going the wrong way." said the cameraman, "You're supposed to be on land for one thing."

"Huh? That doesn't make sense, you're just pulling my leg, aren't you?"

"That's it!" the cameraman grabs Spongebob and throws him into the back and gets in the driver's seat.

"Todd, what are you doing?" asked the sound man

"Getting out of here and driving us to the airport," he answered, "I don't care if the crew is not allowed to help racers, there's no way in hell I'm going to drown because of this square-headed idiot!"

The camera guy drives the car out of the Hudson and drives to the airport.

_"Teams are now flying to Moscow, Russia on one of two flights: Bugs & Daffy, Buster & Babs, Brian & Stewie, Homer & Marge and Zim & Gir are on JFK Flight 276, which will arrive at 6:00 PM, and the other teams: Scrooge & Darkwing Duck, Monteray Jack & Gadget, Yakko & Wakko, Norbert & Daggett, Daphne & Velma and Spongebob & Patrick are on Newark Flight 879 which will arrive at 7:15 PM."_

_"When they arrive and find out to head to the Ostankino Tower, they will have to sign up for a tour at 8:00 AM, 8:15 AM, or 8:30 AM since they are only allowed to enter at touring hours."_

**Moscow, Russia- 6:00 PM, first flight arrives**

The JFK flight has landed, holding the first five teams as they are finally in their first destination city.

(Bugs & Daffy, Currently in 1st Place)

Since they already know where to head to, the Looney Tunes make a beeline for the taxis outside.

"Say mac," Bugs said to the driver, "Do you know where the Ostankino Tower is?"

"Yes, bunnyski," said the Russian driver, "It is known throughout Moscow, it's how our tv's work."

"That's fine," said an impatient Daffy, "Now drive before anyone else comes!"

(Buster & Babs, Currently in 2nd Place)

Since the Tiny Toons were already told by their mentors about the Tower, they were close behind.

"You've seen a rabbit and a duck go into another cab?" asked Buster

"Yes."

"Well follow that!" Babs demanded

(Brian & Stewie, Currently in 3rd Place)

The dog and baby are the third to get into a cab

"Do you know the third tallest building in the world?" Brian asked the driver

"Of course, comrades, it's the Ostankino Tower."

"Is it really that?" asked Stewie

"Well it's the tallest building in Russia."

"Just go there." said Brian

**"When we got off the plane, all the teams went to the airport bookstore for research," said Brian in an after-leg interview, "But then we noticed that the only ones there were me and Stewie, the yelllow skinned baldy and his blue haired lady, and the green alien and his robot. Three rabbits and a duck were missing from our little group."**

**"We thought either they've left for research, or they already know what the thing is and already went there." said Stewie, "So we decided to get the hell out of there without any of the other teams noticing."**

(Bugs & Daffy)

"Are we there yet?" asked Bugs

"You will know when you see it." replied the driver

"How will we know, smart g-" Daffy stopped mid-sentence as the pair have their first look at the Ostankino Tower

"Told you, comrades."

They pull up and the pair runs out, noticing the sign up sheets

"What the heck's this?" Daffy reads the sheet, "Teams can only enter on touring hours?! What kind of joke is this?"

"Eh, they do this all the time on this show," said Bugs, "No matter how much of a lead you've got, they always find a way to screw the leaders over."

(Bugs & Daffy, first team on 8:00 AM tour)

The two return to their cab when Buster & Babs show up

"Don't bother running, kids," Bugs said to them, "We can't get in 'til morning."

"What! are you serious?" Buster said in disbelieve

"Teams can only enter on touring hours, I think they do this on purpose." said Babs, reading the sheets.

"Just sign in and let's find a hotel, my tail-feathers are freezing." said Daffy

(Buster & Babs, second team on 8:00 AM tour)

(Homer & Marge, Currently in 4th Place)

Having noticed that they and ZIm & Gir were the only ones left in the airport, Homer & Marge quickly got into a taxi and drove off

"I can't believe we didn't think of getting out sooner!" said Marge, "Now we're behind and we don't even know what the world's third tallest building even is!"

"That the Ostankino Tower, mam" said the driver

"Really? are you sure?"

"I live here, of course I know that!"

"Sorry."

"See, Marge, I told you researching was a stupid waste of time." said Homer, "Now get there as fast-OOHHH look! A Russian pub! stop here."

(Zim & Gir, Currently in 5th Place)

"I can't believe that fat human and his mate are ahead of us!" yelled Zim from their taxi, "I will not be beaten by something so disgusting and repulsive as he!"

"Do you always talk so negatively about people?" asked their driver

"Quiet you!" Zim starts smelling something, "What is that alcoholic stench?"

Inside of the pub, Homer and his taxi driver were drinking some beer with some other Russians and singing a Russian song, though Homer sounded more like he was mumbling than singing.

"Victory! Victory for Zim!" Zim screams as he passes by the pub, with Marge noticing.

"Um, Homer, we need to go now." Marge said

"Why? I'm having a great time!"

"The alien and his robot just passed us."

"What? D'OH!"

(Brian & Stewie)

"Stay here, just in case we need to leave." Brian said to the driver, he and Stewie walked up to the front door where a security guard is stationed

"Excuse me, can we get in now?" Brian asked

"You boys on that American show that goes around the world?" the guard said

"Yeah," said Stewie, "Now if you don't mind, let us in so we can get our clue."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, comrades."

"What? Why?" said Brian

"We were told teams can only enter on touring hours," answered the guard, "The sign up sheet is over there," he points to the board out front

"So much for our lead," Stewie disappointingly said

(Brian & Stewie third team on 8:00 AM tour)

"At least we're on the first tour," said Brian as he and Stewie returned to their cab, "Let's just go somewhere and get some sleep."

"Are you sure we can't sleep in the same bed?"

"Do you want your ear bitten off again?"

**7:15 PM, second flight arrives**

(Daphne & Velma, Currently in 6th Place)

"Ostankino Tower, and step on it!" Velma said to the driver

"Good thing we remembered that from our last trip to Russia." Daphne said

(Yakko & Wakko, Currently in 7th Place)

The Warner Brothers look to be strapping jet-packs on their backs

"So, I figured since everyone will be most likely searching on the ground, we'll search by air!" Yakko told his younger brother

"How do we know when we see it?" asked Wakko

"We'll most likely fly straight into it. Now, FIRE ENGINES!!!" The Warner fly off into the sky

"Should we say that 'Toy Story' line?" asked Wakko

"Nah, it's been done to death."

(Monteray Jack & Gadget, Currently in 8th Place)

(Scrooge & Darkwing Duck, Currently in 9th Place)

The two Disney teams got out at nearly the same time, with the Rescue Rangers getting a cab first.

"I remember the Ostankino Tower," said Monty as he began one of his stories, "There was the time back in '82 where me and a friend of mine named Borsch Benny tried to set the world record for fastest climb up the staries to the top, though there wasn't any past records for mice, but we went and did it anyway. So there we was, already up a hundred feet..."

"That's really interesting, Monty." said Gadget, but she didn't have the heart to tell him she was wearing her earplugs.

**"I didn't mean to be so rude to Monty," said Gadget, and you should know what this bold means already, "But we really need to stay focus on the race, we don't have time for any stories. Oh, I hope he doesn't get mad at me when he sees this."**

**"Actually, Gadget-luv, I'm right next to you." said Monty**

**"Oh, sorry."**

The two duck team is right on their tails

"Get past them! We've got to beat those mice to the tower!" Scrooge yelled to his driver.

"I hope that does not mean going over the speed limit. Race or not, I've got to send a positive message to children." said D.W.

"When did you start caring about sending positive messages?"

"Since Disney started making those garbage sitcoms."

(Zim & Gir)

"Yes! Yes! We're here!" Zim yelled as his cab parked in front of the Ostankino Tower, "Now to get the-" Zim is interrupted as the Simpsons' cab nearly rammed into his door as he was getting out.

"Come on, Marge! Let's go!" Homer yelled as he got out of the driver's seat, it seems they left the pub in so big of a hurry, Homer just got into the driver's seat and drove off without the cab driver.

"Gee, Homie, do you think the driver is gonna be sore at us for stealing his cab?" Marge asked

"Nah, it's like taking towels from a hotel, who's gonna notice?" Homer makes his way to the sign up sheet and signs his team's names on the top line on the next column, "WOO-HOO! We're here first! In your face, green guy!"

Zim walks up to the sheet and signs his & Gir's names on the bottom line on the first column.

(Zim & Gir, last team on 8:00 AM tour)

(Homer & Marge, first team on 8:15 AM tour)

"What!? How did you guys get on the earlier tour?" asked Homer, how he knew what the text says I'll never know

"There's a fourth line here." said Zim

"D'OH!"

(Norbert & Daggett, Currently in 10th Place)

The beaver brothers had been held up by airport security due to people mistaking the smell of Daggett's 'lucky' cheese as nitroglycerin, thinking he had a bomb.

"Well that was a spootin' time!" yelled an annoyed Dag

"Just be thankful the security guys told us about that tower." said Norb as he got a cab

(Daphne & Velma)

The two 'Mystery, Inc.' ladies' cab arrived at the tower, with Velma pointing out

"Look! There's a sign up sheet!" Velma said, the two got out and ran over with Velma signing them in

(Daphne & Velma, second team on 8:15 AM tour)

"At least we're not last," said Daphne, but then she hears something, "Hey, what's that sound?"

The Warner brothers come flying in, taking Daphne down to the ground

"HELLO NURSE!!!" Yakko & Wakko said in unison before they both kiss Daphne on both sides of her face

"AAHHHH!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!" Daphne yells in disgust, grabs Velma and runs back to the cab

"Bye, girls, see you in the morning!" Yakko says before signing the sheet

(Yakko & Wakko, third team on 8:15 AM tour)

(Spongebob & Patrick, Currently in Last Place)

Not surprisingly, the Bikini Bottom buddies leave the airport in dead last as they were too busy playing on the luggage conveyor belt, airport security had to drag them off and throw them out.

"Geez, if those guys wanted a turn, they could've asked nicely." said Spongebob as he and Patrick got into a taxi

(Monteray Jack & Gadget)

The Rescue Rangers arrive at the tower slightly ahead of the ducks.

"Hurry up and sign, luv," said Monty, "before the old geezer goose and his costumed pal get here."

Gadget makes it to the sheet just as Scrooge & D.W.'s cab pulled up

(Monteray Jack & Gadget, last team on 8:15 AM tour)

"We're in, Monty!" Gadget excitedly said just as the two ducks ran up to the sheet

"Ack-no! The earliest tours are all full!" Scrooge upsettingly said

"Sorry guys, but first come, first serve." said Gadget

"Don't remind us of the rules, that's the worst of mocks." said D.W. as he signed the sheet

(Scrooge & Darkwing Duck, first team on 8:30 AM tour)

(Norbert & Daggett)

The beavers went through Moscow trying to look for the tower, it seems they got a cab driver who doesn't really know his way around.

"Are you spootin' me?" asked Dag, "How can you not know where it is? Don't you live here?"

"I'm sorry, beaverski," said the cab driver, "but I was just transferred here three weeks ago and I'm still trying to find my way around."

"Oh great," said Norb, "It seems in the 'Amazing Race Cab Lottery', we ended up with the worst end of the deal."

"We're looking for one of the tallest buildings in the world," Dag informed the driver, "How hard is it to find a big building!?!"

"I don't know," the driver responded, "I'll stop here and ask, okay?" he stops at a big building and goes to talk to a gaurd.

"Spoot, we're surely dead last now!" Dag slides in his seat in despair

"Cheer up, Daggie!" Norb said to his younger brother, "Maybe, by some really dumb luck, someone else is doing worse than us."

"Oh please, who could possibly be doing more horrible than us?!"

(Spongebob & Patrick)

"You know, Patrick, maybe we should've asked someone." said Spongebob, the two of them have been driving around for awhile now, and not even close to what they were looking for, in fact, they weren't even in Moscow anymore

"How about that guy on the horse over there?" said Patrick, pointing to St. Petersburg's Bronze Horseman statue.

"Great idea, Patrick!" The two got out of the cab and walked to the statue, "Excuse sir, but can you tell us where something called 'The world's third tallest building' can be found?"

Of course, no response came

"He's not answering us, Spongebob."

"Oh, he's probably just thinking," Spongebob assures Patrick, than turns to the statue, "That's okay, take your time."

"When do you think those idiots will realize that's just a statue?" the cameraman asked

"Just to be safe, you better stop filming," said the sound guy, "Something tells me this would take up to all night."

"I'm still getting paid if this takes all night, right?" asked the cab driver

(Norbert & Daggett)

"What, is he getting directions to France? HURRY UP!!!" Dag says frustratingly, their driver had been getting directions for about ten minutes now, and Dag's not really the patient type.

"Wow, it's just the begining of the first leg, and we're already doing spooty." Norb groans, even he is starting to get impatient with the driver. But speak of the devil, he finally comes back to the cab.

"Hey, you'll never gonna believe this, beaver comrades," he said, "But we're actually at the Ostankino Tower!"

"What! You mean we've been here the entire time?" Dag yells, half excited that they are at the place and half cheesed off that they just wasted ten minutes not doing a dang thing.

"And it took you ten minutes to find this out?" said Norb

"Well, I really wanted to know some other places to help me at my job." admitted the driver

"Forget it!" Dag yells, handing the driver some money as he and Norb got out, "Here's your pay, now get out of here! We don't want you anymore!"

"Looks like someone did do more horrible than us!" Norb said, having found the sign up sheet and finding only nine teams were on it.

(Norbert & Daggett, second team on 8:30 AM tour)

"We're on the last tour? Spoot!" Dag cursed, "So which team hasn't made it, yet?"

"By the looks of things, the sponge and the starfish. So how are we gonna get to a hotel since you got rid of our cab?"

"Let's just walk, we'll probably do better that way than with him!"

**And that ends the first part of the first leg of the race, and if you haven't been paying attention, here's the list of who's on which tour and currently which position:**

**8:00 AM tour/Currently in 1st-4th place:  
1.**Bugs & Daffy  
**2.**Buster & Babs  
**3.**Brian & Stewie  
**4.**Zim & Gir

**8:15 AM tour/Currently in 5th-8th place  
5.**Homer & Marge  
**6.**Daphne & Velma  
**7.**Yakko & Wakko  
**8.**Monteray Jack & Gadget

**8:30 AM tour/Currently in 9th-Last place:  
9.**Scrooge & Darkwing Duck  
**10.**Norbert & Daggett  
**11.**Spongebob & Patrick (though they haven't really signed in yet)

**Will Norbert & Daggett be able to catch up with the rest of the pack? Will the Looney Tunes & the Tiny Toons continue to work together? Will Stewie be able to get Brian to actually start thinking on this race? Will the Warners continue to gross out Daphne? Will Spongebob & Patrick actually get on the right track? Just wait and see next time on 'THE CARTOON AMAZING RACE'!!! And yes, I will end each chapter with questions.**

**Please Review and tell me who you think is gonna be eliminated first and who you think will win the race!**


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